Emery's Memories: Mileka smiles in the arms of Jesus

I tend to post the facts, details, the happenings, the honest truth. That's just me. I am however, a very emotional person, and things tend to get to me right down to my core at times. It can be the simplest of things, or it can be the most difficult things. My faith has gotton me through life thus far and keeping God the center of my life is always a comfort to me and will guide me through everything life throws my way. Recently I was struck right in the center of my heart with the news of Hannah's friend and her unexpected death.

It was an accident, a four wheeler accident. A 9 year old girl died. She was Hannah's friend and a friend to many, loved by many. Her name is Mileka.

You may have heard her name here and there when we talked about Hannah's friends. Hannah met her in Kindergarten, Mrs Allen's class. It didn't take long before these two girls clicked. Hannah was on the quiet side and Mileka at first was too. They laughed and giggled alot together, they made each other smile, learning what a friendship is. I remember the day Hannah came home and told me she made a friend, her name was Mileka. I had never heard that name before. Hannah said she has a Hawaiian name. Her mom is from Hawaii. Soon after, I found out Mileka's mom, JoAnna, is a first grade teacher at Dassel Elementary. Those were just the beginnings of a new found friendship.

The news of Mileka's death reached me on Sunday May 8th, 2011, of all days Mother's Day. After church I came home with Bailey, and Steve and Hannah went with Grandma Nancy to go get her camper out of storage in Grove City.

I finished eating my lunch and went on Facebook. I saw a status posted online I will never forget. It was a status from JoAnna. I initally saw Mileka's picture as her profile picture and then my eyes went to some recent posts from friends saying about how sorry to hear about the accident, I kept scrolling, WHAT HAPPENED!??! Who got hurt?? I said those words out loud and that got Bailey's attention. He came over to the computer, as I kept scrolling down, further on her Facebook page and came to her post that they lost their dear sweet Mileka last night due to injuries from a ATV accident. OMG!! NO NOT MILEKA, I screamed.
I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. The pure disbelief, the shock, the sick feeling in my stomach, the tears, the thoughts of why? I just couldn't grasp the facts. I read all the comments from friends and family and just couldn't control any emotions, I felt sick. Hannah's dear sweet friend that was always there for her and made her smile and laugh, her dance buddy...they had such a promising future together, so many plans for the future. She is now gone and all the memories forever in our minds.

Hannah and I had just talked a few weeks before, about how since Mileka wasn't in her classroom this year, dance was the most time they spent together, that we would have to make a it a point to get the girls together to just play, more often this summer.

It was a tough discovery when Hannah found out last summer that Mileka was going to be in a different classroom to begin 3rd grade, they've always been together. Dance would be their thing together though, and we were glad for that. Hannah wanted to start dance so bad with Mileka and couldn't hardly wait for the fall. They had a wonderful dance year together and I'm so glad that because of Mileka, Hannah discovered her love of dance with Just for Kix. Without hesitation, Hannah has stated she will continue to dance because Mileka would want her to. I will always see Mileka beside Hannah when I see her dance.

I had the tough job of telling Hannah about her friend when she got back home with daddy and grandma. I was a crying mess, still in shock. When I told her, she cried and I believe said the word "no", in her softest voice. It was heartbreaking. We sat on the couch a just hugged for about an hour. I said some things to her.....I told her Mileka was in a accident on a four wheeler and wasn't wearing a helmet, she hit her head and it caused her to die, BUT she is with Jesus in heaven, which is the best place ever. We will see Mileka again some day when we go to heaven. She is happy and in no pain and she would want you to be happy too. Remember all the good times you both had and never forget her. We will miss her and be sad, and that's ok.

I remember a piece of advice JoAnna had for our family when Steve lost his dad, and the kids their grandpa...."never forget the memories and always keep his memory alive by taking about him often".....we try to keep grandpa's memory alive and will do the same for Mileka.

The next week was the toughest, going back to school on Monday, the memories, the loss, the sadness. Dassel Elementary had counselours and pastors there to help when needed. They kept up with the daily routine and everything went smoothly. The kids made projects remembering their friend and classmate. They all wore bright pink ribbons for Mileka, her favorite color. Her classroom is painting a chair in her memory-- zebra print and pink, that will stay as a reminder in the classroom of her personality...always smiling, always happy, always bright.

On Thursday that week was the funeral in Silver Lake. They lived in Silver Lake, but since Mileka's mom was a teacher at Dassel, that is where Mileka travelled to school each morning with her mom. We went to the funeral home early for a visitation and we were able to give the family some visable support. I gave JoAnna the biggest hug ever. I will never forget that moment. Her daughter was laying in a small pink casket behind us, and the flowers were abundant. We cried and no words were needed. We felt the support and emotion of the day. We walked up to see Mileka and it was pretty overwhelming. The soft hawaiian music in the backround, the smell of flowers, and the little girl whose life was taken too soon. She didn't look much like herself, which was the hardest to see, but she had a very beautiful life with many that adored her. She was even wearing "silly bands" and that brought a smile to my heart. (ie: silly bands are rubber bracelets that are popular with the kids that are shaped in different shapes/characters, but when worn on the wrist just look like a squiggly bracelet).

The funeral service was very touching and brought comfort and reassurance. After the service it was raining, raining tears, I suppose. Coming out of church Hannah got a big hug from her 2nd grade teacher, Mrs Ganser, in which both her and Mileka were in her classroom. It was comforting to see.
We didn't stay for the burial, mostly cause of the rain, and Hannah had to use the bathroom and her blood sugar (unknowingly at the time) was in the 400's. We forgot to bolus for breakfast during the prepartions for the funeral,so when she tested we were a little shocked and glad we came home.

I found out they let a bunch of balloons go into the sky at the cemetary. They were bright pink, light pink and black and it was told that only the bright pink ones floated up high and disappeared..... those were the ones Mileka wanted.

Life goes on. JoAnna and Kyle and 2 older sisters (Brianna and Ashley) misses their "Leka Lu" so bad, we all do. A parents pain in this situation must be almost unbearable....but JoAnna has shown much strength. She has a very strong faith, and also believes Mileka is keeping her strong and would want her to be strong. She is back at school teaching those little 1st graders and finishing out the year, and gaining strength from her Dassel family...it doesn't get easier though.

Hannah has been doing well and even though she had a tough few weeks internally with porcessing her feelings and managing her diabetes, externally she has been happy and enjoying life with her friends. I think she treasures each one a little more than before. Her friends mean the world to her.

2nd grade field trip to the MN Zoo (age 8 1/2)
Hannah is way in the back and Mileka is the one one the left in front.