Just life

Steve has been off of work for gosh... like 10 weeks, maybe more. I lost count. That in itself is so tough on everything in general, it has been nice in the respect that he is home to help with the kids. We have been able to keep living, by withdrawing money out of our life insurance policies for the last 2 months. It's tough not to be able to get out of the house to do anything, or feeling guilty for doing it if we do. There was hardly any food in the house this week, so we made do with what we had. Hannah had some really crazy blood sugar levels this week and is dealing with constipation, and I feel guilty that I am not giving her the nutrition she needs. Bailey has gotton a few extra headaches, and was struggling to keep up with his homework, and make up work from being in Mexico. Bailey was busy trying to keep up, and I just found out that the trimester ended on last Thursday and all of his make up work was not completed, so he got zero's on those assigments and tests. I guess it was Bailey's initative to get these things done with daily reminders from his teachers, but we never recieved anything regarding the assignments until last week from one teacher and Bailey still never went to his teachers and did any of tests he missed, and I guess we all learned a big lesson about communication and initative.

Steve is going to Minot, North Dakota to work next week for sure, and maybe longer depending how well it is going there. I am thankful for the potential work, but it will be challenging with him suddenly just gone. There is no inbetween with him, he is either home constantly, or he is gone and we never see him. Hopefully it's only for a week or 2, I can handle it, I have to. He says it could be up to a month. I am hoping not that long as I am having a hard time with him leaving at all.

Hannah had her teacher conference on Monday, and she is doing very well acedemicly, Along with meeting with her teacher, I also met with the school social worker. She was very sympathetic with all Hannah has had to go through the last several months. I assured her she was doing fine. (although sometimes I wonder). Hannah's teacher and the social worker that Hannah see's in a small group setting once a week, both said Hannah has made significant progress over the last 3 years, but still has significant anxiety in communication with adults and class or group discussions.
Mostly in having to share her ideas. She has no problems with relating to kids, in fact her entire class is her friend. She can relate and talk to every one of them. She is a leader and bossy in some respects to her peers. The class had to clean out their cubbies one day, and when Hannah did she re organized her cubby, by stacking everything on it's side, instead of flat. Hannah said after she did that, the entire class copied her and did it that way too. :)
She will answer when asked specificly, she will read her reading and comprehension stories outloud to her teacher and is in fact reading/comprehending way above average, but will not offer any extra information or add to any disscussions. So that is where we are at....improving at a slow yet steady level. I was asked what else they can do, and even was asked on all the why's. Tough questions, and I'm not sure why, or what I can do differently, she is overbearing at home, and not sure how to get her to express that in other situations. I do know that when adults ask her questions and I'm around, I will usually answer for her, when there is silence by her. I hate the silence, but have also learned to let it go and not answer for her every time, so she can learn to answer and when she does, praise her for it. It's hard for now, because if the adult doesn't know her personality, it just gets laughed off and she isn't forced to answer anyway. I wish people could be more sympathetic towards her and give her a chance.....nobody has the patience for that, though. Her teacher and the social worker is to a degree, but they work with her on a consistant basis.
As long as it doesn't affect her liking school or her work at school, I think she is doing just fine, much better than I was at this age and of course am proud of all her accomplishments thus far.

hummm---On to something more personal, I have begun the steps to have the Essure procedure done. What is it? It is permanent birth control. Just the next step in my life that I feel now, is the right thing to do. We for see no more kids in the future. The Essure procedure is an outpatient thing done in a clinic setting. It's not surgical in the respect that there is anesthesia or cutting, like the tubal ligation is. This procedure is replacing the surgery to a significant degree. My doctor rarely does the surgery anymore and has been doing the Essure 'surgery' for 4-5 years. It's only been being done for about 5-6 years. Go to www.essure.com for more information on what is actually done.
My procedure is scheduled for April 13. Steve needs to drive me, and I want him there anyway. I will be on some medication an hour before the procedure (valium and vicodin) and then get another injection while there. The procedure then only takes about 10-15 min. and I will be able to go home shortly after. There will only be some discomfort, cramping type. I will be on the vicodin and ibprophin for a few days and things should settle down. It will take 3 months before I will go back for a confirmation x-ray to see if the procedure worked to rely on it solely for birth control. In the mean time will continue on the pills and will be so glad to get rid of them for good. This all must mean I'm getting older...uuggh... but I am so ready for this and I feel good, and healthy (just wish I could loose 50 lbs).

It's not been a sudden decision. Ever since Hannah was about 2-3 yrs old, I envisioned and truly wanted a 3rd child. (was I crazy!!??) It wasn't meant to be, and I waited, and waited, hoping Steve would change his mind. I said let's just do it, and Steve was STLL the more cautious one. ( maybe stubborness??) I gave myself until I was 35 yrs old to let the reality sink in, and now that I will be turning 36 in a few weeks, my mind has given into the thought that another child is not what I want anymore either. Too many years have gone by, and just don't want to start that process all over again. It was some of the best years of my life, having a baby in the house. I just realize now that it is not soemthing I want anymore and decided to search out my options. When I went to my over due doctor appt. in early March, he told me he had the perfect thing for me....Essure....and so we went on from there.
So there now that is out in the open. Pray that everything goes according to plan.

So with life getting so crazy, I hope for the spring air to come quickly to warm my heart and soul, and bring everyone peace and happiness in the days to come.
God Bless!!